Into my world!

Real Estate Issues in Mumbai - A layman's view

2010-05-31T11:16:00.053+05:30

I was recently reading an interview of Deepak Parekh, Chairman of the HDFC bank, wherein he talked about the pace of infrastructure development, real estate prices in Mumbai among other things. What caught my attention among the many things he said was that real estate prices won't come down so soon, that certain developers were being favored by the government and its various officials when it came to handing out projects and that interest rates are also being manipulated which is why even that won't come down too. For the laymen and the uninterested it might not sound much enlightening, but if you dig just a bit deeper, you can feel the consequences of the above things.

Real estate prices not coming down is a bane for the middle class, which means there are no affordable housing schemes, unless you count the MMRDA's lottery scheme which is messed up big time. Add to that the interest rate problems and you can definitely say that for the middle-class people buying a house in Mumbai or the suburbs is a huge head-ache! Agents or brokers in the real estate world say that property prices have shot up by an average of Rs 1-2 lakhs everywhere in Navi Mumbai since January, whereas in Mumbai and its suburbs, it could be even more! As for prices in South Mumbai, they are sometimes too absurd to even talk about, experts attribute it mainly to the fact that its South Mumbai, people are willing to pay any amount for a home there. As for property prices for commercial establishments, the less said, the better. The money shelled out for various plots across the city point out that Mumbai has indeed become the costliest, for both residential and office spaces.

Deepak Parekh says that this is mainly due to the fact that we have not created any new cities after Navi Mumbai. This is a very pertinent observation and when you stop to think about it, you wonder how the government could have failed on this front. As such Navi Mumbai has been a huge success because of the way it was planned, the township has good railway stations, planned residential areas and a decent bus network. Besides a lot of upcoming industries and IT parks are based around that area be it in the Thane-Belapur belt or the IT parks in Mhape. Navi Mumbai still needs to develop more on a few fronts:road connectivity within its township limits, better connectivity to Mumbai, state of roads needs to improve. Besides Navi Mumbai, till recently, offered an alternative to those who couldn't afford a home in Mumbai and also didn't want to venture out too far in the suburbs. The upcoming airport near Panvel (when will it take off, if ever it does?), the 5 metro lines, the Central Park in Kharghar, planned improvement in the rail connectivity with Mumbai and Thane through fast trains, 12 coach trains among other things being planned will surely make Navi Mumbai the place to be in the next 5-7 years. All in all its obvious that Navi Mumbai has been quite a success despite some problems that it faces and people have really begun, in the last few years, to look at it as another alternative to Mumbai.

And this again brings us back to Deepak Parekh's observation. Why hasn't the government or any of its agencies taken up anything on this front? A few years ago there was a big hype about SEZ's. India had as many as 1200 SEZ's. Nearly every company worth its salt, involved in real estate or infrastructure, was building SEZ's. So much so that at one point of time there were concerns over so many SEZ's being planned were good for the country in the long-term. The fears were not ill-founded for there were stories of how the SEZ developers were usurping the land from the locals without giving them a good deal, how so many SEZ's being planned was not economically viable for the country etc. It seemed that the governments, both the states and at the center were more than happy to let the SEZ's to be developed, it seemed that they were happy that private players were involved in doing a job, which the government should have done in the first place. And the the economic recession came and its been quite sometime since we ever heard about any SEZ. It could either be because the companies involved have gone on to develop the SEZ and save the publicity for later or the government has pushed the problems under the carpet and silently given the go-ahead to the private players. If its the latter reason, then it is a matter of grave concern.

All said and done, developing new cities while also developing the suburbs and its connectivity to Mumbai is the solution to the land crunch that Mumbai is facing. The two SEZ's that were being planned around Mumbai would have helped greatly in this matter, but it seems both SEZ's are facing problems in land acquisition from the locals. Developing the two Sez's will not only create more job opportunities, but also improve growth, trade and free up land and provide world class living alternatives to the middle class. It is the government's prerogative so see that this happens and happens soon. It has to remember that with Mumbai being the financial capital of India, there will always be influx of people into the city and to deal with it, it has to provide for options to the people in terms of affordable housing, good living facilities with respect to electricity, water supply etc. We are running out of time and the sooner the government and its agencies wake up and act on this issue, the better!

Spark

2010-02-18T21:29:00.002+05:30

Here is a speech given by Chetan Bhagat. I got it thanks to Arun Kanthi, my friend who took care to forward this mail to me. It helped me a lot, I forwarded it to some people, but for those who have not read it, not received such a mail and many others, here it is. Read it and get inspired.

Speech given at the orientation program for the new batch of MBA students
Symbiosis, Pune, July 24, 2008
By Chetan Bhagat

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates – there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.

Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.

I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp’s flame. The first aspect is nurturing – to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.

To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn’t any external measure – a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.
Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn’t the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won’t be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature’s design. Are you? Goals will help you do that. I must add, don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

You must have read some quotes – Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark – don’t take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said – don’t be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live?Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It’s ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.

I’ve told you three things – reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don’t go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it’s life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember – if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that’s where you want to be.

Disappointment’ s cousin is Frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don’t know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan – I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life – friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.

Unfairness – this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian standards. Let’s be grateful for what we have andget the strength to accept what we don’t. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don’t get literary praise. It’s ok. I don’t look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It’s ok. Don’t let unfairness kill your spark.

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is Isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.

There you go. I’ve told you the four thunderstorms – disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying – I come from the land of a billion sparks.
Thank You.

What's in a Name, Religion, Region or the likes? Referring to of course the MNIK controversy!

2010-02-13T11:37:00.005+05:30

So My Name is Khan has finally released. And Mumbaikars turned out in large numbers to see the movie and defy the Sena. And this has been applauded by one and all across all social networking sites, Twitter and in the media. Chief Minister Ashok Chavan with his ministers saw the movie in a token move to symbolize that Shiv Sena won't be allowed to run amok. SRK has been appreciated for his performance and for sticking to his stand. The movie is a winner and the producers are going to laugh all the way to the bank. All hunky dory eh??

But wait a second. I just pick out today's TOI and check. Actually only 35 out of 63 screens released the movie. People did turn out and watch, but there was security in most places. Yes, people are gonna start watching it from today, but the point is these incidents of yesterday were also hyped by the media, which played its role to perfection in this whole controversy. So is this the end of the issue then? Well Messrs Pritish Nandy and Ayaz Memon certainly think so. The former said in his tweet that both the Sena and SRK have gained from this controversy and both stand out as winners for their reason. Hmm.. Ayaz Memon has gone on to say, again through Twitter, that some days later most people will forget this incident and it will be looked upon as a silly controversy. And this is what made me start writing this controversy. For all through this controversy, I have always felt that most people have missed out the main points and have been highly misled by the media. Lets start at the beginning then.

Lets start with SRK. I am a big fan of SRK, but have been disenchanted with him since long, if you ask me ever since he bought an IPL time and started being more of a hypocrite and a loud mouth. Remember the incident wherein he taught Twenty20 cricket to the great Sunil Gavaskar? Anyways I don't want to get into all that now. Lets start with his statement which started all this controversy. He said he would have preferred Pakistani players to be in the IPL, Pakistan is a great neighbor, my father was from Pakistan, we should move forward and the issue should have been dealt with properly... blah-blah.. something like this isn't it? Well he earned the ire of the Shiv Sena amongst others. But before I go there, I must mention that I read a lot of blogs wherein SRK was panned for his comments by people irrespective of their region and religion. Now why did SRK have to make this comment after the auction, why not take it up before? The reason was that he would have faced the ire of the IPL and the hypocrite that he is, he used it after the auction. This earned him a lot of goodwill in Pakistan and made sure his movie would do well there. Down right disgusting. And the Shiv Sena didn't like this. They saw right through his antics which the so-called elite class and his die-hard fan-base didn't.

One comment in a blog stands out in my mind: "Really SRK if Pakistan, with all that it has done with regards to terror activities is a great neighbor, then what is a poor neighbor?" After all that has happened, how could SRK say this? Yeah we have to move on, but not at this cost. Its for the first time that the Govt has been taking a strong stand against Pakistan and people like SRK spoil it for their own selfish purposes. We are not against dialogue with Pakistan, but Pakistan must show its willing to do something on the 26/11 issue. Every other month it says India has not provided enough evidence and subtly threatens with the Af-Pak connection. One cannot forget when Vajpayee was extending his hand for peace Musharraf was planning the Kargil insurgency.Should Pakistani players be still playing in the IPL after all that their Govt tries to do? Don't say politics and cricket should not be mixed up, coz how then did the terrorists attack Sri Lankan cricketers? This when Sri Lanka shares a good rapport with Pakistan and the latter helped it in the war against LTTE. Anyways, lets not go off-topic much.

What irritates me most is that I have never seen SRK speak much when we Indians suffered, like after 26/11, on the racist attacks in Australia etc, but he is always the first to stand up for Pakistan and its cricket? Why this hypocrisy? Does he care more for Pakistan?If so why is he even staying in India? Why does he always state his religion so much at every given opportunity? Why did he make an issue out of being held at a US airport underlining his religion so much when the much revered former President APJ Abdul Kalam didn't so much as open his mouth? None of the other Khans do it? Why does he have to club India and Pakistan together when no one is interested? Why have things come to such a state SRK, that you have to prove that you are an Indian? SRK said that his kids are very afraid and that his daughter asked him if they would have to leave the country. Huh! Someone please remind SRK that the children of Hemant Karkare, Salaskar and many other brave men who died during 26/11 can no more talk to their respective fathers coz they laid down their lives for thankless people like him. They didn't think twice before taking the bullets, not thinking whether they were shielding a Hindu or a Muslim or a Christian. And I would love to know if SRK would stick to his pro-PAK stand if 2 of those terrorists landed up at his neighborhood and killed people indiscriminately? Would he have dared to talk about Pakistan if he had lost a family member? Can he face the families of the victims of 26/11 after this statement. Downright shameful! And if you think of it more, he doesn't even have to go out and meet any common man to know this. Ask him to meet fellow Bollywooder Ashish Chaudhary who lost his sister and brother-in-law in the attack. Rise up above your selfishness SRK and be an India not just by words but by actions. Else leave the country and go to Pakistan. You won't be missed here anymore. Period.

Now when the Shiv Sena denounced and attacked him, the whole media, other political parties, other celebrities jumped in to support him. Everyone in Twitter went on about how we live in a democracy and SRK has the right to express his mind and opinions... Indeed, but what shocked me was that despite most of these people being educated and from the elite of the society, they forgot one fundamental thing. That in a democracy, like you have rights you also have duties. And SRK was duty bound to the nation, being such a big personality and worldwide name as my friend put it, not make such statements and rile people. Being a star, he had to be careful with his statements, thats one of the pitfalls of being a star and SRK knew this too well. But how come the media forgot this? How did they forget that in expressing your opinion you are also expected not make senseless comments for your own selfish purposes which may hurt others? Twitter world was over-flooded with tweets supporting SRK and denouncing Shiv Sena. The point is, that the Sena was right, though its methods weren't. Even I didn't like the Sena's methods and its disturbing normal life. But the point is how come all these celebs, media and other people didn't speak up when there were racist attacks in Australia? This is just one example. The reason is simple. The public and the so-called elite class and the media love to hate and pan the Shiv Sena. But was the Sena actually wrong this time? No. It did speak out on the right issues ranging from Pakistan to Australian attacks this time. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh said he could not sleep when Hanif Mohammed was arrested in Australia, but has not yet spoken about the attacks on Indians. And with a weak foreign minister in SM Krishna, the Indians in Australia better not expect much from the Indian Govt. All this when its people from Punjab being targeted the most and neither Manmohan Singh nor the Congress has bothered with it. On the other hand Bal Thackeray has spoken out against it when there is not a single Maharashtrian attacked in Australia. So who is the true Indian here?

Its high time the media and the other celebs stop being so partial and mislead the people. And its high time the common stopped being such a fool and simply believe stars like SRK who would stoop to any means for their selfish reasons. Its high time they saw the truths from their own eyes rather than just see what they are being shown. Be an Indian first and then everything else. Support what is right, even if you are in the minority group. Don't rake out your religions and regions to serve your personal whims and fancies. If you can't be an Indian first, then you are nothing and no one. Remember this. While finishing this piece I suddenly remember a few lines I read long back somewhere.

" I am an Indian.
  Not because I am a Hindu, Muslim or a Christian.
  Not because I am a Parsi, Sikh or Buddhist.
  Not because I am a Bihari, Madrasi or a Punjabi.
  Not because I belong to a particular region, caste or creed.
  Not because some political party tells me.
  Not because I have to prove it to someone.
  I am an Indian,
  Because if I am not an Indian,
  Who am I?
  Yes I'm an Indian, first and foremost."

Written by the Bharat, who is simply an Indian first and nothing else!
  Jai Hind!

Has it ever happened to you that.....

2010-01-12T15:06:00.011+05:30

Has it ever happened to you that whenever you reach the railway station or bus-stop on time or before time, the train or bus is late, but when you are running late, they always run on time?
Has it ever happened to you that, you are lost in your own world, when someone suddenly asks you the time and you snap out of your world, "Duh! What?”, the person asks you for the time again and you mumble something while looking at the watch?
Has it ever happened to you that just when you are about to log off from the messenger or chat, someone pings/buzzes you and keeps on talking, not getting your subtle hints about wanting to log off?
Has it ever happened to you that you are sitting at a restaurant with friends, cracking stupid jokes, having fun, while the waiter comes every five minutes to take your order and each time you tell him, grinning, "Just 2 minutes please!"?
Has it ever happened to you that you go to a restaurant, find its not the one you should be in (maybe coz its a no-vegetarian and you are a pure-veg or its actually a bar and restaurant or maybe coz you don't have enough dough! :P) and then make an exit while making up silly excuses?
Has it ever happened to you that you study hard for an exam or a viva, real hard, and then find that the exam or viva has been postponed for some stupid reason?(The stupid reason could be coz of some sudden holiday being declared, the external examiner is absent or in case of CAT, the servers crashed!)
Has it ever happened to you that, you land up at some party or a lecture, where you don't know anyone as such and then run into someone you know from earlier times, but have never spoken to and who is in the same situation as you, and then ended up being with the that person for the remaining duration and also become friends with him/her? (yeah I know its a bit too long to read and understand at one go, why don't you read it again?)
Has it ever happened to you that you enter a store, try out or check out clothes for like an hour and then finally end up buying what you had picked as your first choice?
Has it ever happened to you that you once blabbered some advice to a friend, which was not even needed in the first place, and then when you remember it later, you cursed yourself mentally for talking like that?
Has it ever happened to you that you finish an assignment all by yourself on time, which is a very rare occasion, and then you find out that the professor's chamcha or chamchi has got the submission time extended?
Has it ever happened to you that you land up at an exam center for an entrance exam, happen to see some really hot chicks/guys, but later on, find to your dismay, that not even one of those chicks/guys is in your class? :P
Has it ever happened to you that when you badly need an auto-rickshaw or a taxi and you don't get the same, you end cursing all those drivers who didn't stop when you gestured to them?
Has it ever happened to you that when you talk with certain people, they have a I-know-it-all attitude and make statements which provoke you into giving it back to them, but you bite back the retort while mentally cursing the person?
Has it ever happened to you that on the morning of an exam, you are too sleepy to get up, but finally do that while promising yourself, that the moment the exam is over, you are gonna get home and just doze off, but never, ever, ever do it?
Has it ever happened to you that you get the answer to a real tough problem all by yourself and you are sure that you are the only one to do that, and then discover that 75% of the class has the answer too?
Has it ever happened to you that you are in the train, you take out a book to study or your music-player or iPod to hear music and suddenly you find everyone around you looking curiously at you?
Has it ever happened to you that you are singing the lyrics of a song loudly while totally lost in the music and you suddenly realize that you are in a public place and people are staring at you now?
Has it ever happened to you that you are at a party or get-together, and you run into someone you were once friends with but not even on talking terms now, and then awkwardly try to avoid that person all night?
Has it ever happened that you have seen movies or read books with interest till the end and then wondered, "What the heck was all that about? I couldn't make heads or tails of it!" ?
Has it ever happened to you that you have dreams or nightmares early morning which are clear in every detail, but the moment you wake up and try to remember the same details seem so blurred?
Has it ever happened to you that you go to a restaurant with friends, deciding to order something different, look over the menu twice or thrice and then give your usual order to the waiter, not wanting to risk anything?
Has it ever happened to you that you have exams and doing everything else apart from studying seems so interesting, however small and insignificant they maybe?
Has it ever happened to you that, you plan what you are going to do in you vacations or holidays during your exam-time, with great difficulty, and then when holidays finally dawn, you forget the whole thing and just do what you feel like doing each day? ;)

Well don't get your imagination too far coz not all of this have happened to me. I just made a list of such things and wrote about it. I guess you might have faced at least one such situation! If not wait for the time, when it will happen! :P

Thanks for reading! Your comments are always welcome! :)

Bharat.S aka "The Weird Blogger!"

Why I believe 3 Idiots is so so stupid in criticizing the educational system?

2010-01-11T12:03:00.004+05:30

While the rest of India or most of it is going gaga over 3 Idiots, I guess I am amongst the minority who are criticizing the movie a bit. And no its not because I am a Chetan Bhagat fan nor is it because I am pissed of the controversy surrounding the New 3 Idiots - Aamir, Hirani and Vidhu Vinod Chopra (sorry Maddy and Sharman, you have missed out, Kareena, even more so!) Its because the movie has, in a successful and stupid way, gone on and criticized our educational system, saying it follows the wrong way, it encourages rote learning, increases pressure on the students among other things. I beg to differ. We all have this tendency to blame the educational system a lot and this movie has everyone in a frenzy regarding the same. Wherever you go, Facebook or Orkut, you can see students, in particular my fellow engineering students, giving a thumbs-up to the movie and saying how they were suffering coz of the system, how the system is not good enough...blah-blah... Bull-shit..really. The movie apart from being crap doesn't even give out the whole message. I mean there are so many suicides in Mumbai now and all of them seem to have happened due to failures, will the producers now accept the blame for that as one character does the same thing in the movie. No they won't coz they say thats not their message. Then what is? Do they even know what they are talking about or did they just adapt a novel, add some mirch-masala to it and sold it blindly to the masses knowing they would lap it up. Yes this is exactly what they did. Its stupid to think or believe that these people were actually that concerned about the educational system. If so why this movie now? Why wasn't such a movie made before Chetan Bhagat wrote FPS? Oh yeah now they say their movie is original, so why didn't the original movie happen years before? After all students have been suffering since ages!

In November when many CAT aspirants failed to give the paper at the proper time or faced difficulties, they blamed the IIM's and Prometric, which was indeed what happened. But there were a few people who just took advantage of the situation and said they had faced problems. These were people whose papers weren't good, whose test ended due to some mistake of their own and hence needed an excuse. I am not saying all of them were like that, but yeah there were indeed many such cases. And yeah there were those who restarted their PC's to get more time. Of course this doesn't absolve IIM's and Prometric of their mistakes and someone should indeed take them to task. But the point I am trying to highlight is how many people took advantage of the situation.

Its the same with educational system. Many say the system does not allow for imparting of practical knowledge, focuses more on theory, doesn't let students experiment with technical ideas and so on. But let me ask, given a chance how many students would actually want to do that? Less than 2-3 %. And thats the truth whether you like it or not. Most of us are always in a hurry to get out of our labs and just write some shit in our journals about which we know neither heads nor tails. Engineers can get away with it, I don't think doctors or architects can though I am not sure. And yeah we engineers study only in the study holidays with books which just about help us to clear the exams or score. We are not interested in learning, very few people actually know what they are studying. Many clear their papers by getting the question papers beforehand or bribing the professors or concerned people. And then when we fail to clear our papers we blame everything and everyone from the university, the professors and the system saying it has too many flaws. Say the system is changed, how many of us would adjust to it or study like we are actually supposed to? We all just need the short-cuts, how many of us are actually Einsteins or Benjamin Franklins? We just create a hype about such people, but the fact is there will be hardly be 1-2% of such people amongst us, though we all think we are different and our failures are to be blamed on the system.

Let me tell you frankly, I am no topper. I have flunked more papers than you can imagine, but I don't blame the system as such. People have told me I should not think its the end and that the system is in someways faulty. I don't completely agree as I believe one should learn from their failures. I should have known what I was in for when I got into engineering, if others could clear why couldn't I? Why couldn't I adapt? And therein lies my failure as of others. When the system works for say 95% of the people, why should we just harp about its flaws all the time? I am not saying don't care about the rest but how many of the remaining 5% are genuine cases? Mostly its just people making up excuses for their failures. Thats the main problem with us Indians, we just love to blame others for our excuses. Terrorism and terrorist strikes? Blame Pakistan! Seriously since when did the Government of Pakistan become responsible for our safety? This is not to say Pakistan is not to be blamed, but what about our own Government's duty towards us? Border incursions? Blame over-ambitious China. Hahaha.. where is your military spending and exercises going? Are they not worth anything? Unrest in Orissa, West Bengal or other places? Blame Naxals and Maoists. What happened to the development of the people in these places? I guess you got the idea. If no, my final challenge: design a system with no flaws..for anything, but not something stupid.. Like designing a system for an event wherein you have accounted for every possible situation, design a system wherein other sports get as much publicity as cricket..these are just some vague examples. But when you sit down to do this, you will realize how tough the task is, to account for everyone and every situation, to be fair to one and all and at the same time not be partial to anyone. The system as such doesn't have that many flaws. But whatever flaws it has is multiplied by our attitude towards to it and our mindset.

Its our mindset and attitude that is such a big problem. We only need the best, even amongst students, we need the best colleges, the best job offers etc and are willing to do anything for it leading to unhealthy competition and illegal ways to get there. Tell me something, if you were to run a company and need to recruit people for it, wouldn't you just select the best? How many of us have the time and patience of going through everything else? But then why do we blame others when they do that? Its our attitude that is the main problem. We are not open to failures, criticism of our methods and changes. The system has flaws, but which system doesn't. Its what you do with those flaws thats important. We need to keep regulating the system and change it as per the needs of the times we are in, not abruptly but after thinking it out properly. And the inability to do so is our major failure. Like after he took charge of the Ministry of HRD, Kapil Sibal wanted to make changes to the educational system, but he was stalled by the state boards, his own government... which shows that everybody is looking out for themselves and people are not on the same plane. And hence the Right to Education Bill is yet to be passed. All this is because of our mindset and our feeling of comfort in a particular system or state. That is why lectures are not held seriously, professors are lax about what they have to teach, professors don't update their own knowledge, students bunk lectures, mug up whatever is in the portion during exams and clear the exams. When they finally finish their education, most of them are clueless of the next step or what they have studied. And so they need training in companies as what they have studied is nowhere related to what they have to. This is where things must change, students must seriously be taught what is actually needed and companies must come forward in this respect. This is just 1 aspect. Another is that students should be given the class of passing (Distinction, First Class etc) irrespective of their attempts as it ends up being unfair to them in the short run. Suggestions
from students should be given serious thought, after all its they who suffer when things go wrong.

I am not trying to take a stand or create a different one here, I have written mostly about engineering students coz I am one. The realities in other fields may or may not be same and as I don't have any particular idea of those I have not talked about them. I am just stating that don't get swayed by what you see in the movie. They have just presented one side of the matter, the one which will appeal most and hence will give the producers a hit and fill their coffers. But there is another side too, which most people ignore, which exists whether you like it or not. So the next time you fail, don't just blame the system, see where you might have gone wrong and try to adapt to the system. See if you can do better the next time. Come out trumps and live your life better. Lets not live our life giving excuses and blaming others. Lets be responsible for our own lives. The day we blame others for our failures, we tend to be dependent on them and there is no worse thing than that, believe me I know it from whatever little experience I have had out of this Life!

Signing off,
Bharat.S aka "The Failed Engineer" ;)

First Look, First Impressions!

2009-12-28T15:00:00.006+05:30

How important is a first impression eh?? Well most people tend to judge you on how you look , how you present yourself, your body-language etc the first time they meet you. But you can't really judge a person only by the first impression. If you do that, all you could end up with is a with a serious case of misjudgment more often than not. And more so if you are judging me. Try as I might, I have never been able to have a good impression on most people the first time! I am not talking about people who have known me since school days and all coz we are young, our sense in such things I believe, wasn't that great. Usually the first impression about me ranges from a nerd, intimidating or irritating person, weirdo, studious guy, sarcastic, show-off, snob, impossible, incorrigible, unpredictable and God-knows-what! Yeah..yeah, its true. I know its too bad. Maybe I try too hard, maybe I don't, whatever it is, it doesn't work. Of course, some of the people who had these impressions, later found that they had been wrong in some cases if not all. Thankfully, for then I would have lost out on some really good friends.

Of late though, I have been in touch with a lot with some school friends, people whom I had lost touch with or people whom I had never talked to in school. As is the wont, we usually talk about school days and such stuff. During one such conversation Divya had an idea: to discuss each's opinion about the other. Her opinion or view or whatever you want to call it had some of those adjectives mentioned above apart from one brow-raising one"non-controversial". Riddhi said I was intelligent and quick-witted or something similar, Shruti Acharya (the surname coz there are too many Shruti's for now and it gets confusing :p) said I was conservative among other things! Wow, where do these people get these ideas? Of course these people had been absent for 6 years since end of school, hence 99% people don't know the truth! :P

Well enough of my first impressions! As the year draws to an end and I in an unusually thoughtful mood, I went back and tried to remember the first impressions of some of the many people I know. Here goes.. I did have these impressions about them, whether you might believe it or not! I don't just judge people like that. Now check if you are one amongst these people, the impressions might not be great or right, but they are in no ways related to the equation, if any, I have with that person now. I have to state this, for my blogs do attract controversies and I wanna avoid them for this time! :)

School Friends:

Shruti: Starting off with a really funny case, I never spoke to her in school. We became friends 6 months after school ended. First impression? Studious, hardworking
Meghna: This one is tough. I know her since Class 3, then later after a big gap from Class 10, so don't know which time to talk about. Well anyways, I found her serious, smart, hardworking, confident etc.
Grishma: We went to some jack-ass math classes together way back in class 5. I was always intimidated by her (no wonders they recruited her in a Security company :P), she appeared confident, intelligent, smart, kinda mischievous and fun to be with. Hasn't changed much till date!
Divya S: Hahahaha..she told me not to write anything about her and here I am....One of the genuine all-rounders, who balanced studies along with music and dance, other activities like elocution and stuff we are obsessed with in school, but forget as soon as we leave school. Really good command over English which is still maintained, confident, one of the really few sensible girls I have met till date!
Shruti Acharya: Knew her for really less time in Class 10. When Abhishek, Shruti, Sneha and myself walked back home from class. Another one who learnt music and sung well, fun to hang out with, hardworking, had the patience to tolerate my jokes and stuff. Must be truly admired for that.
Shishira: She was the sports girl, was truly intimidated by her, she was taller than most guys in our batch. We literally had to look upto her! :P Easy going, fun, chatter-box, quite like me!!
Abhishek: This guy knew how to talk rightly with people, looked well-dressed even in our pale grey school uniforms while people like me looked like starved donkeys! Good with drawings, intuitive, liked to do things in style!

College Friends:

Arun V: Simple, down-to-earth, patient and great to hang out with!
Abhay: Another simple, down-to-earth types. (Yeah, I have too many such people around me, maybe be they make for the lack of humility in me, seeing as I am such a snob! :P) Hardworking, kinda geek, the subject of most of our jokes, fun to be with, live and let-live types... huh..rare types..
Arun K: He was Abhay's room partner for 4 years and hence I knew him. Usually quiet, sharp, knowledgeable, deep thinker, kinda innocent and minded his own business mostly.
Shashank: Smart, sharp, sensible, mischievous, witty, fun-to-be-with, hard-cum-smart-worker, down-to-earth, good listener. One of the few people who are the reason for me coming out of my depression period.(yeah Shashank you can laugh your heart out if you are reading this)
Sriram: Hardworking, studious, dedicated, someone who took the initiative for things like revaluation, stationary material, extra lectures... something we never did!
Rajana: I irritated her like hell, the first time we spoke. I was recruiting her as a volunteer, didn't register her presence then. But she was the only volunteer to come back and argue with me, which was an indication that she had done her job and knew what it was, unlike so many others. Good conversational skills, command over language, great listener, sharp and a bit of no-non-sense types.
Dheeraj: Another junior, who started as a volunteer and became a good friend. Smart, creative and innovative, witty and can keep you in splits with his antics!
Pritish: We both have a similarity in one thing: our first impressions are not that great. But in Pritish's case it might be purposeful! Sharp, task manager and a true Marwaadi!
Safa: Helpful, hardworking both as a student and a teacher, down-to-earth!
Akshat: Another Marwaadi, laid-back, fun to hang-out and studious.
Satish: Keen sense of music, really good singer, another one who likes to do things in style!
Apurva aka Techno: Knowledgeable, occasionally humorous....
Abhijit: The one who could come with dry jokes, sometimes guaranteed to win your admiration, at other times will leave you clutching your hair. Still remember the "Darr ke aage jeet hai toh jeet ke pehle kya hai?" joke! Cool dude, smart, witty..er this was an impression na! ;)
AK: Knew him sem II, another person who could give Abhijit a tough fight in cracking those dry jokes, sharp, smart...

Online Friends:

Sampath maama: First of the few online friends I have made over the past 2 years. Its been 2 years only 2 days ago, added him as he was on my sister's list and seemed quite popular. Intelligent, knowledgeable, very popular, fun to chat with, lives life to the full. Special mention of maami ie his wife, for not minding him being online so much!
Sandhya: We were both contemplating whether to add the other, before I added her. Still remember her cute pic with a hat on. First impression? Cute, smart, moody, music-lover, great singer, mature yet childish and great to converse or chat with. Met her once and it was a great first meeting!
Suchi: The only person I added randomly, she was sporting enough to add me though I guess we took time to gel. What made me add her? Well she seemed fun-loving, someone with a positive attitude to life, sweet, no-non-sense types, smart and witty!
Balaji: Another person on my sister's list. Fellow engineering grad in despair, humorous, full-time mokkai(its Tamil colloquial term!), someone who left for Srirangam for all the Utsavams and all, uploaded all the videos online, causing a great loss to recording companies as one of his friends put it! :P
Bharadwaj: Added him coz I had heard a lot about him from Anusha. Sincere, intelligent, helpful, down-to-earth, hardworking and the likes. Really great person to know!
Bhavana: Hahahahahaha.. the last person on the online friends list with whom I chat once-in-a-while. First Impression? All screwed up.. was led to believe by Rajeev and Anusha (damn you both) that she was an RJ for a year.. and boy was I impressed! Turned out I was wrong about that. Was on the never-ending friends-request line of hers, took her time to clear it. Loved the testi's she wrote and those written for her, liked her blogs(had been following it for a year before we became friends, she doesn't know till now!) But yeah she is, smart but crazy, witty, childish at times mature at others, talkative but reserved, can be philosophical at times (spare me :P) among other things!

There it is..first impressions of some of the people I know and have been in touch with once in a while. Some of these things could sound repetitive but then its totally dependent on people you meet! If your name is not in the list, don't worry, maybe I am yet to remember it or maybe we are yet to have a proper conversation to have the impression. My memory is unpredictable you see! :P
And if your name was in there, don't take much offence or too pleased. And yeah, please do leave a comment, its the least you can do after all that has been written about you! Yeah I am still ranting about comments! If you want to, you can leave your impression about me... no wait, don't do that. I don't want to know anymore! ;)

So the next time you say, "First Impression is the Last Impression", think again. It may not be quite true!!
Signing off (with a good impression I hope),
Bharat.S

A Few Lessons Learnt….

2009-12-25T23:30:00.008+05:30

I was just sitting idle in the afternoon today, listening to some music. Music always somehow gets me into introspection or thinking mode. I started thinking about all that has happened with me over the past one year, which, I is guess is pretty normal seeing as the year as about to draw to an end! I wondered about the lessons I learnt throughout the year, some good, some bad, some needed, some I could have done without. I learnt a lot, had some success, more failure, lost some people, gained a few more. So what did I learn over the last year? Here we go:

Success teaches you lessons, but Failure makes sure that you remember them and learn from your mistakes. In times of success, you may overlook certain things and get away with it, but failure shows you where all you went wrong.
Never take anything in life for granted. It could be anything, your career, family and friends, health, your love life. If these things have some value in your life, they also deserve your love, care, interest, affection and most importantly, your time.
Its always important to have self-respect. If you don't respect yourself, nobody else will and neither can you respect others.
Never leave any job half-done, whatever it is and whatever it takes you to finish off. Even if it means to kill someone. Yes I mean it. The more things you leave half-finished, more are the chances of you getting stuck.
Your friends might want to help you during your hard times, but they can only do so much. Finally its you who have to deal with and solve the problem.
The more you avoid dealing with your problems, the more complicated it becomes, the tougher it becomes to deal with. Hope is something we all live on, but hope in itself is dependent on you acting. Believe in yourself, have patience and keep doing all the necessary, possible and right things. And you will soon be out of it all.
You can't please everyone all the time. If you trying doing that, you are not nice, but you are actually a fool. If people don't want to believe you, don't want to listen to you, whatever you do, they won't be convinced. If they have to see something wrong and negative in you, they will. You might jump off a cliff and they will say its just a publicity stunt by you.
Life is not always about people recognizing you, sometimes its more about you recognizing the right people. Good friends are hard to come by, so if you have any, stick by them through their hard times and give them the space they need. Trust them, just don't abandon them.
Circumstances, situations and people can change overnight. Don't expect too much from people. Don't think that people should do things only your way and that its the only right way. Let them do things their own way, its their life after all.
Never tell people that they used you, manipulated you, took advantage of you, when you had helped them voluntarily. Its not only an insult to that person but also demeaning to you and your act of helping.
Remember that most people don't really follow all the things that you say, advices, sermons, suggestions.(And this stands for this blog too.) Don't take it too personally, don't take it to your heart. Its not always possible to help people all the time. I learnt this during my time at Akanksha.
Listen to everyone, but do what you feel is right. After all when things go wrong, its you who will have to face the music. Don't wait for an approval for all you do from others.
At times, its necessary to just shut everything else and do things. Learn from you past, plan for your future, but live for the present.
Don't look back bitterly, try to take the good memories. Its tough, but its not impossible. Forgive people, try not to hate anyone. Not because they deserve it, but because you don't deserve that..
Everyone has an opinion, suggestion.. And thanks to Orkut, Facebook, Twitter etc, we find them everywhere around us, sometimes unnecessarily. So shut your mouth, don't give a suggestion unless you are asked for or its actually needed. It increases you brand value. ;)
Don't fall into love or a relationship foolishly. Be sensible, think and decide if you actually want this, if you are ready for it. Its stupid to justify your act by saying that you can't be sensible in love and if you think all the time, its just not love. Bull-shit! Its just an excuse. I have heard of at least one relationship every month over the last few months and most have gone astray or are facing some serious problems.
If a friend comes and tells you about a problem, something which you had warned them against, never tell them, "I told you this would happen. Why don't you listen to me? You could have avoided this had you listened to me ... blah-blah". Everyone has a point of view, an opinion and a way of doing things. No one likes to deliberately make a mistake. So the last thing your friend needs is more such rantings from you. Just get on with how to solve the situation.
The worst thing you can do to a person who is going through all kinds of hard times, is to continuously judge their actions, plans, words and thoughts. Its so easy for you to do that, but makes things even harder for the person. Its the last thing that person needs. I have faced this all through this year and I can tell you its a big pain. You just make the person distant from you. A lot of people have come to me for advice or the likes, but I try never to judge them coz it would be the wrong time to do that.

Yeah I learnt it all(whether you believe it or not), but have not been able to implement it all. Its a process which is still going on. You can laugh about it or say its not good enough, but again that is just your opinion! I know a lot of things said in here are contradictory, but then thats how things happen in my life. I hope you can learn something from all of this, thats all I am hoping for.

Thanks anyways! :)

Signing off,

Bharat.S

To blog or not to blog?? Conversely, to comment or not to comment??

2009-12-21T15:49:00.003+05:30

Two posts last week, and about 10 comments and some more appreciation, but I still have to write this! When I started my blog, it was with the idea of writing things that came to my mind or what I felt about writing at that point of time. After my writing my first ever blog, I just stopped writing completely. I was too busy and writing a blog was never on top of my priority list. Occasionally I would post some forwarded articles, but I was too lazy to write something of my own. I would often browse and read up other people's articles, but thats about it. I finally got back to blogging by end of September this year and managed to write some 10 posts of my own till date. Some of them have been well-received, the others were trash. I, don't like my posts for sometime too, I don't bother to read them after I have published them. I read them after 10 days just to check if its actually good, no matter what anyone says! Yeah, I am weird! :P

Most of the posts that I have written have had comments on them, but I initially had to pester some people to read my blog. Something I believe is expected, seeing as I am not some great personality, for people to just read my blogs and like it. It took time, but gradually people started appreciating the posts, from being monotonous initially they proceeded to cover different issues and topics. I don't write path-breaking stuff, but my views and opinions about things and happenings. I try to stick to things about which I have an idea and not just blabber about everything and anything. I believe that increases your brand value.:P I am just an occasional blogger, you see.

Its not easy to blog, coz you have to check for a proper topic, get all the ideas and facts together and present it properly! Still it may not end up as a good blog. And there might be times when you are filled with too many ideas, but don't get the time to write about anything. Writing a blog, handling the criticism and all ain't easy, more so one when you are an amateur. I remember when I was busy chatting and arguing with Sandhya, about 2 weeks ago. She was saying how she had like 20 new ideas, but not enough time! With 5 blogs of her own, it was but expected. I tried thinking about my own. There were 7-8 for sure: book review, tour diaries, a year after 26/11, cricket, job interview, CAT experience, some thing about love etc.. the list goes on. Sometimes there is no time, at others I am too busy. Its tough to put everything you want to write about in a blog, coz that can't be possible. Still I try my best. But all along one thing pissed me off, the lack of comments! People who read your blog, when asked to, but never comment on it. No, its coz they didn't like it, its coz they would rather say it to you in person, than comment. Commenting means mentioning your name, email address and all that takes time and effort. Yeah right!

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying, that if you appreciate otherwise its wrong. But say, you prepare a dish and your family has it but doesn't say anything. Wouldn't you expect a compliment on your face, so what if they are discussing amongst themselves how good the dish was! Its a human thing, we all expect appreciation for our work. If I am writing a blog, I expect people to comment on it, whatever it is. Not that I need only appreciation, I can handle criticism better than compliments! If you can spend 10 minutes to read a blog, why not some more to just comment on it. I am not asking people to publicize or advertise my blog, but if my blog is good or conversely bad, why don't you just mention it? Some people say blogs are personal, I believed in that till Bhavana proved me wrong. You can't have it that way. If you write stuff on the blog, you expect people to read it, if its personal or private, write it in a different and personal blog. I have read blogs of random people and commented as and when I could. I don't know what they made of it, but since I liked it, I commented. You can say I am ranting, but its a point that made me wonder, "How long does it take to make a comment? 5 minutes. But it takes at least half an hour to write a blog." If you find someone, who says they don't care about comments, then the person is in all probability lying big-time. We all expect appreciation and compliments! I have had 230 profile visits on my blog and I suppose 200 of them would have been mine, Grishma says she must have contributed to another 10 and the rest made up by many other users I suppose! :P But yeah its a fact that its irritating, when you tell certain people to read your blog and they don't.... aarrghhhh.. which makes me wonder if I should make all my blogs private and personal. And of course the question remains, to blog or not to blog! ;)

Well now, as you have read all this and are wondering whether or not to comment, I just made up these comments template. You know the ones which people usually comment. Its the max we bloggers can do I guess, other than finding some gadget which will give readers ready made comments! :P

Hey nice one!
Awesome! :)
Good one!
Brilliant! Keep up the good work!
Inspiring! :)
I toh, just loved this post of yours
Dude/Girl, go get a LIFE
Stop ranting
Nice post, but were you trying to convey something??
Huh? comment? What comment? The post is over already? Oh shit I am lost!
Couldn't make heads or tail of it!
Maybe you should just stop blogging!
A very nicely written blog!
Mind Blowing, amazing the way you can write this way!
Thought-provoking!! Keep writing!

Enough of templates, you can add a few more if you want. And yeah you could copy paste it into the comments box at least! :P

This was a seriously hilarious attempt at writing something stupid. Hope its good enough to make you go mad. For now, the question remains: To blog or not to blog, conversely to comment or not to comment!! :)

Dedicated to fellow bloggers in despair! ;)
Bye, take care

Bharat.S

Of Acquaintances, Friends, Close Friends, Best Friends, Soulmates...blah-blah....

2009-12-16T19:31:00.003+05:30

Oh yeah I finally get down to write something on this topic, something I have been trying to avoid for sometime. The past six months have been a blur of new faces, new friends, new experiences for me in a way. Actually I could say its more about old faces back in a new frame, new time.... Lately I have been in touch with a lot of my school friends.. most of whom I had never been in touch after school. Six long years, but now thanks to Orkut or Facebook or running into them at various places, I have started to be in touch with a few of them. Considering I am such an introvert and the fact that I never even landed up for my school reunion, this was quite something. Of course its early days, so I won't comment much.

But yeah its in a conversation with one of these friends that I bumped into the question that brought about this blog post. Divya S, a school friend, with whom I spoke properly for the first time ever a week ago, posed the question:"How many friends do you have? And best friends at that?" Tricky question, seeing as I haven't been able to label people for quite sometime now. It brought back the question Rajana, my degree college friend had asked me. When I finally answered, the sharp girl she is, she asked," How many have stood the test of time?" Another googly! To both Divya and Rajana, my answer was the same, that I had a few friends whom I thought were the best and who had stayed with me through my tough times. But of course these things keep changing! But Divya's statement did lead me to ponder over a few things and it lead me to one question and one statement by two people!

First was Rajana, who had her definitions about her close friends, good friends and best friends very clear. She had like four best friends and a reason for all of them being so, she had a couple of close friends too and through all this, she was clear about who meant how much to her. The question came from Shashank, who wondered how people could categorize the way they did. His point was you either are friends or acquaintances or you simply didn't interact with the other person(maybe his polite substitute for 'enemies' or 'I didn't know you existed') How can you have other categories like close friends or good friends or best friends?

Well well, it confused me too. How do you define an Acquaintance, a Friend, a Good/Close Friend, a Best Friend? And finally what about your Partner/Soul mate? Well I thought about it and came up with a definition of mine for each of these. These may seem to be absurd, but then they are an attempt and nothing else.

Acquaintances: These are people whom you interact with once-in-a-while.People you might meet while commuting or at a party or at a meeting. You won't meet them all the time and you might at most talk to them about stuff like weather, cricket, latest developments and maybe your day at the office etc. These people could be your colleagues at office or people who worked with you on some project etc, people who just know the basic stuff about you and vice-versa.

Friends: These are people who you know quite a lot, lot better than the acquaintances, with whom you might discuss stuff that happens once-in-a-while with you, people you might meet more frequently and with whom you have at least some stuff in common.

Good Friends/Close Friends: Now these are people who know nearly everything about you. People whom you can confide in about most things that happen to you almost immediately. People who know details about your latest crush, your likes and dislikes, your fashion sense blah-blah... They just about lose out on being your best friends and the reason is that they won't be with you all the time by themselves, you might have to call out for them. They will help you, but they might not always sense you are in trouble.

Best Friends: Yeah the category most of you would have been dying to know. Well these are people who have known you for quite a long time(in some cases for some short time too) and who know your past and present very well. These people can cut through any pretense you put up and say simply,"What the hell are you trying to do here?" People who are your partners-in-crime in most cases, who can judge your mood swings really well, who know of your ambitions, plans, likes and dislikes to such an extent that maybe even your parents don't. With these people you might not need to meet up everyday, as with the previous two categories and still be in sync, you might not have to talk to each other everyday to remain best friends. These people can calculate what you expect at times, anticipate what you have done at certain times and situations even before you say that. You can call them up in the middle of the night and talk about a problem or a whim etc. It might piss them off but they will do it for u.

Partners/Soul mates: Now here is something I can't define for personal reasons..er not my personal reasons, but its everybody's personal choice. This category is different for different people. A simple versions is that they are exactly same as your best friends ie your partner has to be your best friend(not necessary the other way around), except that you both will probably live together for the rest of your life and you will go home to that person every night(ie if you do get married :P). And yeah this person will have to put up through all of your tantrums and all and still be nice to you. Just kidding, don't you people in relationships get offended and sue me! But yeah I hope you people get the point.

Now that we have categorized them all, I sit back and laugh, wondering if any of this meant anything. I have had loads of best friends over time or maybe I thought they were best friends, people who have stood by me in tough times, and then left as easily. No, I'm not complaining, but if they are your best friends, aren't they supposed to be with you like for lifetimes?? This is basically my point, why are we all in such a hurry to declare things? To declare so-and-so are our best friends, so-and-so are people we won't gel with, so-and-so are the love of our life and just as suddenly find that the situation is not the same anymore. We go out of touch with a person, then feel the other is not making any efforts and hence decide he or she is no longer special! Wow, why then did we make them our best friends? Why couldn't we wait before we declared? And whats the guarantee that you won't get along with that person later on? Its this hurry that causes us to screw all our friendships and relationships, hurry to get into it, label it and then leave it. Even among best friends or partners, there is this need of space and trust to keep the thing going on. And you have to accept that the
equations may not always be the same, sometimes they change for the better or the worse. I have had friends share some secrets that they won't ever share with their best friends or partners, then what do you make of that? That I am better than the others? No, heck its just that even between best friends there will be times when you won;t be able to discuss everything freely. You have to accept that and stop letting it be an obstacle to your friendship and relationship.

I got the best example of this when I observed my sister, Anusha's friendships with her 3 best friends. They had their tough times, times when they were not in touch, had their own problems, were distant with each other. But through all these times, they never stopped loving each other and trusting and respecting each other. That I believe is the key: trust, love, space and respect. When one of their group finally got married last month, they were all in tears, their respective families acknowledging their strong bonds. Not that these people share everything all the time and they do have their respective lives, but their equation is beyond these things. I have been good friends with a lot of people and then suddenly gone out of touch for no reason. Some held on, the others left offended. And thats the difference between your best friends and others, they trust you and give you the space needed. So if you have a friend behaving this way, try clearing things else wait. And if you are the one who is doing it, maybe you should try to come out of it or at least explain to them what its all about, its something they do deserve. And for people who keep on changing partners, please hold on before you declare someone as the love of your life. These things shouldn't be decided on the spur of the moment and need time.

So the next time, why don't you take better steps to prevent friendships and relationships from going kaput? I am no expert and I have screwed more friendships than most others, which is why I am careful before making new friends and labeling them. To be truthful, I have stopped labeling people as mentioned above, my labeling goes more like school friends, SIES friends, PIIT friends, online friends etc... so much easier and so less confusion. ;) I have my share of good friends and I am more than happy to have them with me.

I can't say I know all about managing relationships but yeah I am more sensible now. I try not to look back in a bitter way, preferring to move ahead and trying to remember the wonderful memories I had.

Enough of sermons and lessons, I hope you understand what all this is about and take a lesson or two and implement it.

P.S.:
Though its just a blogpost I would still like to thank a few people for making this happen. :P
1. Divya S: Thank you for raking up the conversation and establishing the base of this post.
2. Rajana: Thank you for getting me one step clearer to the definition of best friends, good friends et all
3. Shashank: Thank you for asking the question which again helped this post to be written.
4. Anusha and her 3 friends: Thank you for letting me observe some really good friendships from close quarters and helping me learn from it.
5. A big thanks, to all my friends who have stood by me till date, whether they are with me now or not, for understanding me and trusting me. Thank you for the good memories. :)

Bharat.S

Slumdogs? Yes. Millionaires? No

2009-12-14T21:07:00.002+05:30

Having finished engineering and being jobless, the only thing I could do was go back to Akanksha, the NGO where I volunteered back in my third year. When my family and friends came to know about this development, the reactions ranged from nods to appreciative looks to disappointment-feigned-as-surprise! Many including my parents wondered if I was only going to this for the rest of my life, if I had no ambition, if I had somehow lost track of what I wanted! Some people said what I did was pretty cool, others just about managed to keep their laughs to themselves. So whats it like to be a volunteer in an NGO which deals basically with teaching kids??

The answer is that its neither cool nor demeaning.. Its serious work and really strenuous at that. We volunteers usually have to be present once in a week to help the main teachers at the schools. Most volunteers (ranging from college going people to retired men to housewives) prefer the same, fixing their schedule accordingly with the teacher. If you are not involved on a day-to-day basis or are just there for the certificate, you will not be perturbed by what happens! But if you are like me, then you are bound to be exasperated once in a while by all that happens! The motive of Akanksha is to get the children to somehow pass their grade 10 so that they can later pursue their specific interests. This in itself has proved to be quite a task for everyone involved, not for lack of efforts on part of the teachers or the students, but more due to other factors. Its been observed all along that for a child to be performing well, it needs proper guidance, hard work, some intelligence and the right atmosphere and environment. Most Akanksha kids lack the last two needs and hence suffer. We have social workers, who cover the whole area keeping an eye on the kids, their family situations, their health conditions etc, offering counselling whenever needed and reporting back to the main office.

Its through these social workers that I came to know of some of the terrible situations these kids faced back home. Once during an exercise, I asked them, foolishly and unknowingly, to write the names of their buildings where they stay. Almost all the kids were stumped saying they didn't live in buildings. I was confused till Bhavana, the teacher at my centre explained that most of these children live in make-shift homes in construction sites or literally on the streets or slums. I was shocked. Most of the kids parents have split, with the fathers living with other women not caring for their children. The ones who still stay with their families either are drunkards or don't earn a penny. The mothers go back to their parents and work, trying to eke out an existence. Most of them were married at an early age and have too many kids. They take out their disappointment on their kids once-in-a-while. The kids are left to fend on their own in most cases and hence they lose track more often than not.

Some of these homes have all women with their children living together, all of them having left their husbands. Another astonishing revelation was that some of the girls had been molested, in some cases by someone in the family. When Akanksha with the help of other NGO's tried to help them, the family backtracked, refusing to acknowledge the incident. What must have gone through those young girls's minds? Most of the kids are beaten up by their drunk fathers and have to keep quite about it. In a particular case, both parents abandoned their kids. The kids thus became, to quote Chetan Bhagat, "Abandoned Orphans". What was the kids fault that both their parents had to abandon them? These kids face rejection almost everywhere and the conditions they grow up are nowhere near ideal. And hence their behavior pattern and interest in studies wanes with time. Not to mention health problems etc. Does all this bode well for the kids? The teachers have to double th e efforts to help the kids as well as counsel them. It doesn't work all the time and we are left feeling frustrated!

What I have mentioned is just the tip of the iceberg and you will find such stories all over the slums in Mumbai and other places. I am often at tears left wondering, if I am actually making any difference to them. Its not a hunky-dory picture and we all have problems. But we know we can't give up, for some of the kids have promising futures and its our duty to help them. Not that all incidents are like these, but parents encouraging their kids and creating a good environment for them are very rare! Someday I will move on forward in my career, but I guess I would like to make a difference using my position. Loads of people try to help but its never enough. I am proud of the fact that I am a volunteer for an NGO like Akanksha, unlike many others who just talk about making a difference but don't even help when they have the free time. The people who would do odd jobs just to earn some money but would never consider helping others once in a while. Yeah this volunteering doesn't pay me, but I know it will help me someday in the future and I hope the kids as well! Danny Boyle may have made Slumdog Millionaires with a happy ending, but there are no fancy fairy tales in real life. If you doubt me, go take a community visit with Akanksha volunteers!

And the next time, you hear someone saying that they help teach underprivileged children don't just smirk, appreciate their efforts. Try to make a difference as and when you can. And I am not talking about making a donation or just food distribution.. give the kids something that can help them for life!

P.S.:
1. The term 'Slumdog' is not meant to offend those living in the slums or from the lower strata of the society or anyone else otherwise.

2. For those interested in working as a volunteer for Akanksha, here are the details:
Mumbai
The Akanksha Foundation,
Voltas House 'C'
TB Kadam Marg,
Chinchpokli,
Mumbai 400 033
Tel: +91 22 23700253 / +91 22 23729880

Pune
The Akanksha Foundation
Thermax Ltd, Thermax House,
14 Mumbai – Pune Road ,
Wakdewadi, Pune 411 003
Ph: +91 20 25540007/08

Website: http://www.akanksha.org

Hoping this makes a difference,
Signing off,
Bharat.S

A leader should know how to manage failure!

2009-11-27T13:42:00.000+05:30

(Former President of India APJ Abdul Kalam at Wharton India Economic forum , Philadelphia , March 22,2008 )

Question: Could you give an example, from your own experience, of how leaders should manage failure?

Kalam: Let me tell you about my experience. In 1973 I became the project director of India 's satellite launch vehicle program, commonly called the SLV-3. Our goal was to put India 's 'Rohini' satellite into orbit by 1980. I was given funds and human resources -- but was told clearly that by 1980 we had to launch the satellite into space. Thousands of people worked together in scientific and technical teams towards that goal.

By 1979 -- I think the month was August -- we thought we were ready. As the project director, I went to the control center for the launch. At four minutes before the satellite launch, the computer began to go through the checklist of items that needed to be checked. One minute later, the computer program put the launch on hold; the display showed that some control components were not in order. My experts -- I had four or five of them with me -- told me not to worry; they had done their calculations and there was enough reserve fuel. So I bypassed the computer, switched to manual mode, and launched the rocket. In the first stage, everything worked fine. In the second stage, a problem developed. Instead of the satellite going into orbit, the whole rocket system plunged into the Bay of Bengal . It was a big failure.

That day, the chairman of the Indian Space Research Organization, Prof. Satish D hawan, had called a press conference. The launch was at 7:00 am , and the press conference -- where journalists from around the world were present -- was at 7:45 am at ISRO's satellite launch range in Sriharikota [in Andhra Pradesh in southern India ]. Prof. Dhawan, the leader of the organization, conducted the press conference himself. He took responsibility for the failure -- he said that the team had worked very hard, but that it needed more technological support. He assured the media that in another year, the team would definitely succeed.. Now, I was the project director, and it was my failure, but instead, he took responsibility for the failure as chairman of the organization.

The next year, in July 1980, we tried again to launch the satellite -- and this time we succeeded. The whole nation was jubilant. Again, there was a press conference. Prof. Dhawan called me aside and told me, 'You conduct the press conference today.'

I learned a very important lesson that day. When failure occurred, the leader of the organization owned that failure. When success came, he gave it to his team. The best management lesson I have learned did not come to me from reading a book; it came from that experience.

Chennai - How I miss you!!

2009-11-16T16:30:00.010+05:30

I was born in Chennai, but brought up in Mumbai which means I am a hard-core Mumbaikar. I love the hustle-bustle of this city more than anything else. Yeah the city has its flaws but I am biased towards this city. Its in my blood I guess. Marine Drive, Juhu Chowpatty, the Gateway of India, Bandra Bandstand, Colaba and Malabar Hills, Siddhivnayak and Mahalakshmi temples, Mahim church and of course Navi Mumbai, where I studied for 4 long years.. the unique feeling that each of these places have to them...truly awesome. The city never sleeps, is always on the go..adapting, adjusting, rediscovering itself... It has seen many phases, many ups and downs, but every time it has bounced back strongly. The best part is that the city accepts everyone irrespective of where they are from and gives hope, opportunities and chance to millions of people who reach here in search of a better living. Don't spoil this discussion by pointing out all the problems the city faces for I know them too, but what the heck this post isn't about that.

I have never wanted to leave this place, wherever it maybe and whatever it may offer as such. I mean I like Delhi too and yeah of course Chennai, or Madras as I still sometimes call it,too, where all my cousins reside. Being Mumbai has had its disadvantages for I missed out on time with my grandparents and other cousins. This meant that whenever I landed up at a family gathering I would be lost amongst the sea of people hardly knowing who was who, more so as I am quite reserved, shy and and an introvert. My sister, Anusha, on the other hand fared better at this as she is quite more social and loved by all. Still I loved spending time with my cousins and relatives. But once I joined my engineering course I rarely had the time for anyone let alone going to Chennai. Needless to say now that I am not doing much, every other relative has called up inviting me over and for once I wanted to go over.

But this longing to go to Chennai increased when one of my mom's cousin turned up last month. I was seeing him after a gap of 10 years!! Listening to his tales about their childhood, I wanted to be back in Chennai with my cousins. We talked late into the night. I left early morning with my uncle to drop him off at the airport. As our taxi was entering terminal 1A(or was it 1B, anyways the upper terminal where AI flights take off) and seeing a couple of flights take off I badly wanted to catch a flight to Chennai. As I dropped off my uncle and was returning I longed to be on that flight to Chennai too. I missed the Chennai way of living in a way.

I loved the train journey to Chennai, glancing out of the window, the masala vada at Renigunda station, meeting new people on the train, discussing stuff, playing cards or chess. I loved the feeling that I used to get when the train used to reach Besant Bridge or Perambur.. The feeling is hard to describe unless you have experienced it too!! Getting down at the Chennai central station, having a cup of filter coffee or some snacks like venna pongal or simple vada sambhar at Saravana Bhavan or Adyar Bhavan.... Catching a call taxi and finally heading to meet my cousins!!

Getting together with my cousins and sharing mindless jokes, playing pranks was always awesome. Getting up early(which I never managed to do over in Mumbai) and going for a walk by the beachside at Thiruvanmiyur, getting soaked in the waves, playing gully cricket and smashing window panes, driving all the elders mad with our antics...I remember when all my cousins from both my mom and dad's sides turned up together at my thread ceremony and we had a great time sight-seeing from the windows! I miss all the time I spent with my patti, less though they were.. I miss the stories she told us.. I loved the food that we had over there, at home or at hotels..loved the food at Sarvana Bhavan or the sweets at Grand Sweets or Adyar Ananda Bhavan or Ananda Bhavan or Shree Krishna Sweets....I miss Aavin's palkhoa or milk khoa as they call it. Everytime a relative visits us, the first demand is to get some of these items. So much so that I didn't let Anusha inside the house on her return from Chennai back in July till she assured she had what I asked for. :P I liked the temples, liked the outings, liked the various new people I met. I liked reading the Hindu, liked listening to the songs in the music player back-in-the-days and dance in our own unique, crazy style. I miss all of those when I look back. Its been a long time.. since I had such fun.

Now I have some online friends over at Chennai too, adding to the long list of people I have to meet or want to meet. Sampath maama, Balaji, Bharat, Ananda, Rajiv, Bhavana among others. I dunno when I am gonna meet any of them but yeah I am waiting.. Lets hope it happens soon..Miss you Chennai..I am coming soon!! :)

A Few Realizations - Part III

2009-11-11T17:08:00.002+05:30

Continued from: A Few Realizations - Part II

I often wonder why did all this happen to me and how much more will people irritate me. But then thats how people are and thats how Life is. I wish I could tell these snobs what I did. But then it can't be explained so easily. What did I do? Oh nothing much, except for: trying to pen down a book while establishing the basis for 2 others, blogging once in a while, writing random articles for my own self, volunteering for NGO teaching de kids over there, trying my hand at foreign exchange trading and failing badly at that, working for my college fest for 4 years heading the publicity division among other things, becoming the Chairman of the IEEE society of my college, heading two technical fests in my final year, doing my part in setting the base for the IEEE society in college besides trying to study for CAT and of course engineer. I have as much knowledge of my course as most others do and can definitely answer a question or two. Not much to talk about and doing these things taught me some more, but I never talk about it. Definitely worth the experiences whether they were good or bad coz they taught me something and helped me become who I am today. Some people try to make a big issue of it, again I don't like it.

I did everything I have done with the full-knowledge of the consequences and caring to see if I am on track where my long-term plans are concerned. I dont sit and cry over my state of things coz thats never go help me. Of course I feel helpless at times but thats about it. I cant help it if people have perceptions about me, if I am not cool in their eyes or whatever their opinion. I don't know what to make of others opinions nor do I think I know of any way to become good in their eyes..coz well I don't care!!

I have very few friends left, the others becoming less than acquaintances or in some cases staunch enemies(I call them that for lack of a better word). The ones left were the ones who never formed an opinion as such about me and hence never though of me as a hypocrite, manipulative, cunning person among other things. Even if they did, they trusted me in whatever I did, while sticking by me and helping me out when needed. These few, Shruti, Rajana, Shashank, Abhay, Arun, Sandhya and my sister Anusha are the main reason that some normalcy remains in my life, that I still carry on my struggle, that I still believe. And of course the kids at Akanksha. What they mean to me, I could perhaps never tell them and maybe its better if they don't know. And of course the person I have come to like a lot in the last 3 months.Yeah guys I do like someone, you can laugh to death about it as everyone does. Maybe she will laugh too, but who cares. I don't think she will ever know, well how will she if I don't ever tell her. I see no reason to for I doubt she knows what she means to me, more likely she has the same opinion of me as so many others.

If it hadnt been for these people life would have sucked more than it did now. So to all those people who believed in me, take me for what I am, who love me without any inhibitions, thanks a lot! And the ones who dont think much of me, thanks but no thanks... I can make do without people like you. I have my weaknesses and flaws but they make me too... however which way..I know you can't get this, but then I cant help it!! Thanks for reading the blog though! :P And to the one who I like, hope reading this doesn't put you off and you don't laugh!(Don't you dare!) Hope you get to know me a little better!

For those who liked this post, thanks a lot. Those who didn't thanks but no thanks, its after all my blog!! Guess this is enough for realizations for now... There is a life to live, some things to achieve, some people to beat, some ambitions to be fulfilled, some dreams to be made true....

Till then....

Bharat.S

A Few Realizations - Part II

2009-11-11T16:58:00.002+05:30

This one is meant for a lot of people... though I am sure a lot of people won't be able to read it and so many others won't bother to read it ever. But then this blog is for me to express what I feel and so here goes...

The other day I was scrolling through my friends list in Facebook while also seeing some friend suggestions, some unknown and some known. There were many people I had added but had never spoken to. Some people I added just like that, but never made the effort to talk to ever. Some others whom I used to be on good terms, but never ever talked since for whatever reasons! I am quite introvert, quite choosy, so people say and guess its quite true. I interact with very few people unless I feel like it or there is a reason for it. I don't make friends with everyone and have managed to maintain fewer friendships over the years. This got me wondering as to what the heck am I doing in a social networking site when I hardly interact with people. And sometimes its usually liking or commenting on someone's status updates or comments on photos or b'day wishes.

I usually make an effort not to add people I wouldn't talk to or have nothing in common still I have 289 friends in Orkut and 209 friends in Facebook with half a dozen more requests pending!! Why do these people add each other if your not gonna be talking to each other for days or sometimes months on end?? Perhaps in my case a many people don't bother disturbing me coz of the way I am or the way I do things. After so many years, I have understood that it intrigues people the way I am, how I behave, how I do things, what I say... Basically I have been the subject of scrutiny in whatever I do or say or think.... And I don't like it one bit. I fail to see the reason for people analyzing whatever I do so much, more so when they wouldn't like if someone did the same to them!

I was quite smart and intelligent back in my school days, with nothing much like sports or such stuff to distract me, I used to be in the top 3 in class, but never the 1st ranker nor was I the teacher's apple. It always used to be a case of so near yet so far. But I never thought less of people who were not as good in academics, dunno why but it rarely bothered me and I always thought that academics can't be the only parameter to judge a person's potential. Six years on after somehow finishing of engineering, I am wondering where I let my feet off the pedal. For my acads are in a bad shape with career prospects screwed. What surprised me is how people, I knew back in school or junior college label me now, shocked at the state of my studies, how most of them have managed to go ahead of this class-topper and are secretly thrilled about it. And these are people who all are 22 years old but are not yet mature to handle competition, jealousy, failures and the likes. They deserve full credit for the way they shaped their career, but again most of these guys seem to have forgot their own days of hardships!

Yeah dude, I flunked many a papers in my 4-year course and often wondered if engineering was something I wanted do. I just scraped through most of my semesters. After 4 years I have no placements or job offers, worse most people are not impressed with my CV. I didn't take up the B-school offer I got, not that it was good. I am not in touch with many of so-called friends and have very few new ones. To most people including my parents I don't appear as career-oriented or determined or ambitious. I am in all probability going to sit this whole year just trying to make it to some B-school or trying to take some course to enhance my job prospects while most of my contemporaries are already a few steps ahead or settled in life. Most people will again ask what I actually did all these years for my career to go off-track suddenly, before deciding to take me in.

PS: This series is continued in the next series: 'A Few Realizations - Part III', for I can't write too much stuff in one blog! So read the other part too! Thanks!! :)

Why India is not a great nation

2009-10-27T20:13:00.000+05:30

From:http://sify.com/news/why-india-is-not-a-great-nation-news-features-jknmHudicfe.html

Major General Mrinal Suman, AVSM, VSM, PhD, commanded an Engineer Regiment on the Siachen Glacier, the most hostile battlefield in the world. A highly qualified officer (B Tech, MA (Public Administration), MSc (Defence Studies) and a Doctorate in Public Administration) he was also the Task Force Commander at Pokhran and was responsible for designing and sinking shafts for the nuclear tests of May 1998.

As India celebrates 62 years of Independence, one tends to wonder: what makes nations great? Why is the US an undisputed world power? Why has Britain remained undefeated for centuries? Why has India succumbed to foreign rule so often? Why is India still struggling with internal dissensions and fissiparous forces? What does India lack?

A chance meeting with a British army veteran in a train from Edinburgh to London proved highly revealing. According to him, the secret of British success lies in the public support and respect extended to the soldiers.

`Soldiers` loyalty to the nation and readiness for the supreme sacrifice are driven less by material considerations and more by an overwhelming urge to earn love and respect of their countrymen. A grateful nation`s recognition of their contribution to national security acts as the strongest motivator,` he declared.

`Britain never forgets its war heroes. Every major landmark in London is named after distinguished soldiers and not politicians,` he pointed out proudly. To prove his point further, he recalled, `Before World War II, it was not uncommon to see placards hanging outside some restaurants in Paris which read `Dogs, lackeys and soldiers not allowed`. On the other hand, even pregnant women used to get up and offer seats to soldiers in London buses. When the war broke out, France capitulated in no time while Britain remained undefeated.`

In an article written two days before the swearing-in of US President Barack Obama, his wife Michelle devoted 515 out of 863 words to the soldiers and their families. `So as I watch Barack take that oath, I`ll be thinking especially about those members of our American family who stand guard across the world and the loved ones who await their safe return... My husband and I are deeply grateful for the sacrifices that these families make to protect all American families. And we join them -- today and every day -- in praying for their loved ones and their safety. They don`t ask a lot in return, just a Washington that understands the challenges they face as part of their extraordinary commitment to our country... My husband understands that commitment, and he will ensure America lives up to its end,` she wrote.

`On Tuesday night, my husband and I will tuck in our daughters like we always do. Their bedrooms will be different, their home unfamiliar. But they will drift off to sleep protected by that same sacrifice that has kept all of our families safe and safeguarded our freedom for generations -- the sacrifice of our men and women in uniform and their families...For that, we could not be more grateful -- or more proud,` she added.

Now let us compare the above with the state of affairs in India. Can anyone recall a similar expression of sentiments by a national figure? Except for perfunctory platitudes on Independence Day, the Government has singularly failed to show compassion for the soldiers or tried to redress their genuine grievances. Apathetic political leadership and bureaucracy have made no attempt to understand the intensity of sense of hurt of the soldiers at their continued neglect and deliberate degradation.

Despite repeated representations, India still does not have a war memorial in the capital to honour independent India`s martyrs. India wants to ape the West in all sundry aspects, but not in matters that affect the well-being and morale of the armed forces. The Tomb of the Unknowns at Arlington in Washington, the Arc de Triomphe in Paris and the Cenotaph in London are admired by all Indian visitors. Yet the absence of a suitable war memorial in New Delhi does not appear odd to them. Surprisingly, it does not even hurt the conscience of the nation. There is no other country that can be so apathetic to the memory of thousands of soldiers who have laid down their lives for its security.

Our Urban Development Ministry is more concerned with the vestiges of the British rule, and opposes a war memorial near India Gate in the name of preserving heritage. India Gate was built in the memory of soldiers who died in World War I during the British rule. India has fought five wars since Independence and over 40,000 soldiers have made the supreme sacrifice. Opposition to a war memorial on frivolous grounds is an affront to the memory of martyrs and displays shameless insensitivity to the feelings of those who have lost their family members. But then, no political leader or bureaucrat can be faulted for their inability to appreciate these issues as they never send their progeny to the military.

Look at the treatment meted out to India`s tallest military leader, Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw, the architect of India`s greatest victory ever. It took the Government decades to determine and release his dues. India has not found him worthy of its highest national honour, the `Bharat Ratna`. No political leader thought it necessary to attend his funeral.

In Britain and the US, heads of the State with full national leadership would have made it a point to be present to pay a nation`s grateful respects.

Nelson`s Column at Trafalgar Square occupies the pride of place in London. London boasts of numerous statues of military heroes. No statues of political leaders are seen in the developed countries. India, on the contrary, has not found it necessary to honour Field Marshal Manekshaw`s memory whereas statues of political leaders (many with dubious credentials) dot New Delhi.

It will not be out of place here to recall the speech of President Obama at the Veterans of Foreign Wars Convention at the Phoenix Convention Center on 17 August 2009. He said, `You have fulfilled your responsibilities. And now a grateful nation must fulfill ours. Whether you've left the service in 2009 or 1949, we will fulfill our responsibility to deliver the benefits and care that you earned.` He described America`s commitment to its veterans as sacred bonds and a sacred trust Americans are honour bound to uphold.

`You have done your duty - to your fallen comrades, to your communities, to your country. You have always fulfilled your responsibilities to America. And so long as I am President of the United States, America will always fulfill its responsibilities to you`, he declared.

Contrast the above pledge and assurance with the apathetic treatment meted out to the ex-servicemen in India. In the recent past, India was witness to the most unfortunate sight of numerous military veterans returning their medals to the President to register their protest against the Government`s indifference to their pleas. Medals earned during active service are the proudest possession of soldiers, and their being driven to surrender them should have made the Government sit up and take note.

But true to its wont, it remained totally unconcerned and unmoved. Not a single Government leader or official has considered it necessary to talk to the protesting veterans to resolve the issues. This episode will certainly go down as a dark chapter in the history of Independent India.

India won the Kargil War of 1999 at a huge cost -- 527 officers and soldiers sacrificed their lives while over a 1,000 sustained battle injuries, many maimed forever. Yet, a senior Congress leader, Mr Rashid Alvi, had the impudence to state that commemoration was not warranted as the war took place due to an intelligence failure of the BJP Government. Every Indian soldier, both serving and retired, was aghast at the brazenness of the logic.

A notion has been deliberately perpetuated that the military must be kept under control through the bureaucracy lest it acquires political ambitions. Examples of Pakistan and Bangladesh are quoted to implant the fear of a military takeover in the minds of gullible and ignorant political leadership. A systematic and well planned strategy has been orchestrated to downgrade the military`s standing. The Sixth Central Pay Commission was the latest master stroke.

Although the public at large still holds the military in high esteem, a deliberate media campaign is being orchestrated by some elements with vested interests to show the military in a poor light. Instead of appreciating the military for initiating prompt disciplinary action against defaulters -- handful acts of misdemeanor and indiscretion in a 1.3 million strong organisation -- such cases are sensationalised to paint a negative picture of the services.

Historically, India does not have a culture of valuing its military. That is the reason that every invader succeeded in defeating and enslaving the sub-continent. If India survives today despite inept political leadership and the self-serving bureaucracy, it is only due to the unquestioned loyalty of the military and enormous sacrifices made by the soldiers.
Denigration of the military always proves fatal in the long run. Any country that discredits the status of its soldiers loses the moral right to expect them to die for its security. Great nations are distinguished by the esteem in which they hold their military.
No nation that stubbornly declines to honour the martyrs, respect the soldiers and care for the veterans can ever aspire to be counted amongst the great nations, slogans like `Mera Bharat Mahan` not withstanding.

Why Indians would prefer George Bush over Barack Obama!!

2009-10-27T19:50:00.051+05:30

When Barack Obama took over as the President of the USA, there was a lot of hope all around of changes happening. The atmosphere was charged with expectations and even more pride as if everyone of us had played a role in him winning and as if each one of us was going to help him change the world! Indeed Obama had won the race on the single platform of CHANGE. So naturally people were expecting big changes. And I am not talking about just the people of the USA. People all over the world were bowled over by Obama's charisma! So much so that our own newspapers were conducting polls searching for the Indian Obama! Such was his impact, such was our obsession with him!! Indeed I was also one of them, but not anymore!

But its been 10 months since he took over, and do we see the changes he promised us? Well if you look carefully at what he is done, you will find that he is lived up to some of them and the rest are pending. He has shut down the Gitmo prison, suspended the planned missile program in Eastern Europe, while also setting a deadline for withdrawing troops from Iraq among other things. All these have been appreciated, but these decisions have also been followed by equally disappointing decisions such as the bail-out plans for the various banks and automobile companies burdening the tax-payer further. But he is not solely responsible for putting the USA in the current situation and he seems to be trying his best to work it out. Indeed most Americans would have preferred him than George Bush Jr, though his rating do dip here and there. Now when most people are so enamored by Obama, why am I wasting my time writing this blog??

Well to be frank Barack Obama's becoming the President doesn't seem to have helped Indians much. Oh there has been all that bonhomie and sweet talk, but nothing further has materialized. Obama has expressed his admiration for Indians in general and Mahatma Gandhi in particular, he is said to carry a small idol of Lord Hanuman with him. The media played this small and inconsequential connection of his and we just fell in love with Obama! We Indians have thus missed the point, that Obama has done nothing for India to rejoice in his decisions. In fact there seems to be a kind of chill in Indo-US relations after all the warmth during the Bush era. Why this change all of a sudden?? Because Obama is a shrewd man, his first responsibility, he realizes is towards America. Nothing wrong with that, but India seems to be at the receiving end of most of his decisions! He will do what he has to save US, thats how they have all been, wish India's politicians learn a lesson from him!

Lets go back to the Bush era, before jumping back to the present. What did George Bush do that endeared him so much to our PM, the government and foreign policy analysts. Well not much apart from the much-hyped Indo-US nuclear deal, not much. Because this guy actually started a war with Afghanistan and Iraq bringing instability to the sub-continent. He had his share of controversial decisions, the unquestioned supply of military and financial aid to Pakistan being one. Indeed India protested all along against this, but Bush stuck to his decisions drawing flak from a lot of people. But Bush never pushed India to sign the NPT or CTBT, a big change from the Bill Clinton era, though he really didn't stand up to China, he indirectly supported India. Though immigrants were a problem, he didn't go overboard on it. Neither did he ever push India to solve its problems with Pakistan especially the Kashmir issue. He didn't do India much good, but then he didn't wrong us too.

Now compare this with Obama. Obama has already said his administration those firms and companies employing Americans. He has always talked of the need for Americans to catch up with Indians and Chinese in the educational field. The underlying message I guess is more or less clear. Furthermore his administration
has started relying China to bail out the US out of recession. So they are going the extra mile to appease the Chinese. Obama has started pushing India towards finding a solution to the Kashmir issue by creating the Af-Pak policy clearly crossing the line. He has also started pushing India to change its climate policy. And all these spells doom for India. What is worse is the government is doing nothing to tackle this high-handedness, it seems to be happy to be eating out of the US's hand. Don't know what our foreign policy experts are doing now, but the US wont bail us out against Pakistan or China. Amid all this, India has let its relations with Russia become a stalemate, thereby making India's foreign policy becoming all about the US. It should understand that its equation with the US is all talk and no work. the talk is not going to help India anyway. I am no foreign policy expert but if you sit and analyse, you will find what is written in this blog is more or less true. Need proof? Check this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P42mPpUtGHQ

The video is about Obama wishing everyone a Happy Diwali while also dwelling on the history behind the festival. As expected most Indians, including me, were impressed! He was the first US president to celebrate Diwali in the White House. But then an article in the newspaper DNA Sunday dispelled all these notions. The occasion may have been Diwali, but Obama went further and invited many other people to the event, thereby sticking to some Pan Asian-American policy. By doing this he peeved the Indian lobby present, who had all these years been proud of this occasion being solely theirs to celebrate!

See what I mean, Obama may have won the Nobel Peace Prize, but he is far, far away from deserving it. I won't get into that issue now, but India needs to have a look at its foreign policy again. I fear that Obama's intentions maybe good, but by the end of his tenure, we will be left wondering if he actually made any significant and positive changes! I fear the world might be in a state wherein people would wonder hwat has happened and if it were all any good! And this is one occasion when I would be glad to be proved wrong!

Signing off,
Bharat.S

There was a time...

2009-10-25T16:20:00.003+05:30

There was a time when people thought I was Irritating,
Now they I think I am Over-smart.

There was a time when people told me I was a Cynic,
Now they tell me I am a Pessimist.

There was a time when people thought I was a Show-off,
Now they tell me I am a Simple and Down-to-earth guy.

There was a time when some people were Friends,
Now they are less than Acquaintances.

There was a time when when I believed in fighting for your friendship,
Now I believe in letting people do what they want.

There was a time when people used to come for my advice on their problems,
Now they think I overdo the advice part.

There was a time when I used to counsel people for every possible thing,
Now I let them follow their own intuitions and instincts.

There was a time when people used to trust my judgements,
Now they think I am creating problems unnecessarily.

There was a time when people said I was Ignorant,
Now they tell me I am Arrogant.

There was a time when people said I was helpful to everyone,
Now they tell me I was manipulative and calculating all along.

There was a time when people told me I never thought about others,
Now they tell me I think only about myself.

There was a time when people helped me without any inhibitions,
Now they think they did me a favor all those times.

There was a time when I used to be bored without my friends for company,
Now I know some distance is necessary for friendships to survive.

There was a time when I could express whatever I felt to most people,
Now I keep my mouth shut for fear of getting hurt.

There was a time when people said I was special,
Now they tell me I am weird.

There was a time when my friends were all I knew,
Now I know the show must go on with or without them.

There was a time when I made loads of friends,
Now I am living within the shell I have created around myself.

There was a time when I was afraid of many things,
Now I am mostly indifferent to most things.

There was a time when I could talk about anything,
Now I don't talk unless there is a need.

There was a time when some people were just Acquaintances,
Now they seem to be the Friends I was always looking for.

There was a time when I wondered what the future would hold,
Now I don't wonder and just get on with Life.

For I know whatever has to happen will happen and there is no point in worrying too much about it. You have to do what you have to and the rest will fall in place. You can't be bothered about what people say about you do or what you all the time!

There were those times.... And there is Now.... Maybe I am smarter, wiser, more mature, more thoughtful, more understanding .... and all those things now.. But who knows... Life changes..people change.. life goes on and so do people....

PS: I don't why I wrote this except that I felt like it. If you liked it, Thank You... If you didn't, Thanks but no thanks. Your comments are either ways welcome!! :)

Be More, Live More, Dream on!!

2009-10-02T19:54:00.000+05:30

I was watching the TV a few days ago when an Aamir Khan ad popped up on the screen. It was the Titan watches ad. And staying in spirit with Aamir's style, it was good, realistic and easy to relate to. But what got me thinking was Aamir's statement about how we all wanted to be a lot of things when were young and how we changed now, how we are sometimes too careful and analytic, how in the quest to achieve something we forget to live for the moment. And this, as it had to inevitably, got me thinking. How true is this? Not just in my case but for so many others!

I remember when I was like 6 or 7 years old I wanted to be either a pilot in the IAF or be in the NAVY. It was my mom's wish too. It was like a very big dream for me, but alas those dreams crash-landed when I was bespectacled in Class 4 while also developing a whole lot of health of problems. And thus my dream of being a pilot went up in smoke. But I dreamed on.... My health condition did not permit me to participate in any sports and needless to say I was ignored.(Who knows maybe someday I would have given Dhoni a run for his money ;)) And hence I could maybe have a career as a coach but not as an athlete. This didn't deter me from pursuing athletics for a while in my own pathetic way. Bcoz I dreamed on... Growing up I had many such dreams...some fulfilled, most not so..Did you dream like this too? Had such secret wishes which were crazy but anyways dreamt of them, wanting to fulfill them? That was the power of being a child and young. You have the ability to imagine without inhibitions and go beyond the boundaries set for you. You dream on not knowing, many-a-times how you will ever achieve what you wanted. :)

Of course most of my dreams were known only to me, not confessed to anyone, not even my closest friends, as it must have been for most other people. All of us have had some dreams which we always wanted to be true. I wanted to play the guitar, try my hand at being an RJ and God-knows-what-else... But somewhere while growing up I missed out on these. I became too involved in many other things, trying to focus on academics and career. Needless to say my dreams were left behind and my career is yet to take off. I was way too careful and confused. I changed, was afraid of taking risks of trying something new. Now I suddenly have this urge to go and try to live my dreams again.. I have always been a poor dancer, always laughed at for my dancing skills. To be fair, I have like 2 left legs. And so I never dance, not even by mistake. I cant dance for my life. But now I want to learn dancing and show off my skills to that friend who said I could never dance. How much time it will take or how I will finally do it I have no idea..but I want to try this along with writing my own book which I left halfway.

And its the case with so many others..Did you ever want to sing or (even better) compose music? Ever wanted to play some music instrument or write a book? Have you still kept that dream adventure trip of yours on the back burner for lack of time? Or did you have an interest in photography or painting that you gave up long back? Have you wanted ever wanted to be reckless and childish just for sometime? What stops from doing any of these now? Responsibilities, restrictions, society, morals? "Why be afraid of mistakes all the time? Why learn from others mistakes, make your own mistakes yaar..", says Aamir Khan in the ad. He is right somewhere. As long as we know what we are doing, maybe a few mistakes wouldn't hurt. Maybe we have to let go ourselves sometimes to get that zing back in our lives.

So go out and pursue that dream of yours you had way back in when you were young and carefree. Whats there to lose? Go on, dream big, be carefree, do more everyday... and live life kingsize.... Sometimes its so much more important to understand that life is not only about understanding but more about living the moment which is with you now. So go... and yeah "All the best!"

The Indian Cricket team - The New Chokers in the world of Cricket ??

2009-10-01T20:32:00.000+05:30

Before every ardent India fan starts cursing me for making such a statement just coz India is out of The Champions Trophy, all I can say is hear me out. There is a logic behind this statement of mine! Even as I sat down to write this blog, India crashed out of the ICC Champions Trophy 2009. This was along expected lines, as for India to go through there were 2 conditions:
1. Pakistan defeat Australia and
2. India defeat West Indies by a big margin, to go through to the semis on account of better run-rate.

Both of these incidents happening simultaneously would have been too much of a miracle, even if we Indians were hoping for it. And it nearly did happen, but Australia squeezed through, winning by 1 wicket. India on the hand crashed out managing a consolation win against the depleted West Indies. India as a team never looked the part throughout their campaign, losing to New Zealand in the warm-up game and then to Pakistan. Against Australia, though the game was washed out, India were in dire straits. Given the kind of bowling-attack they have, it would have been a Herculean task for India to chase down the target that would have been set.

So why did I say India are CHOKERS? Especially since the team has done well in ODI's in past 18 months winning 6 series and even briefly flirting with No.1 position in ODI's. Because if you sit and analyse those wins, you would get a better picture. Of those wins, the one in July 08 against Sri Lanka was commendable coming as it did in the backdrop of a 1-2 TEST series loss against the same team. But the other wins, against a weak England side at home and away against West Indies were not that great achievements. But while everyone is glossing over the 6 series wins, people forget that India lost a tri-series against Pakistan and Bangladesh as also losing in the Asia Cup 2008 final after that. And of course India fared poorly in the T20 World Cup in England and now the Champions Trophy.

Does that indicate a pattern? Well India like the South Africans seemed to have developed a habit of putting up a bad show at ICC events. Earlier India used to lose in finals of any ODI tourney, but now its the ICC events that seem to be India's Achilles Heel. So similar to the Proteas who have choked so many times in world events that every time they approach an important tie in any event they are reminded of the CHOKERS tag. And try as they might they haven't got over it. It seems to have stuck into their mindsets!! Now India seems to be following in their footsteps. If you go back and analyse those 6 series wins, you will find that India just about managed a win in many cases. Australia, the team that lost ASHES along with their NO.1 position in TESTS n ODIS have been a different team though. Yeah they crashed out of T20 World Cup and lost the ASHES series, but they have been on song in ODI's. They seem to be recovering from the loss of Warne, Mc Grath, Hayden and others and coming back to their winning ways(we will know for sure at the end of this series and IND-AUS ODI series).

And therein lies the message for India and South Africa. You have to be consistent in winning to be No.1. Give the position the respect it commands. Australia won nearly everything before they were No.1 and they kept doing it. They won all the crucial and close matches. Thats the difference between Champions and the others. India and South Africa were supposed to in the contest for the No.1 position. Now they seem to be competing for the CHOKERS tag!! ;) Hope so India loses in this contest and M.S. Dhoni's Band of Blue Boys are back to winning ways!!

A Few Realizations - Part I

2009-09-30T21:53:00.004+05:30

Sitting at home doing nothing can be frustrating at times. And it can be even more so when all the plans that you made for yourself have gone haywire. Well that's what happened with me, with not just my main plan but all my back-ups also falling by the wayside. And after a year and half of being in depression the failure also got to me which finally led me to collapse and very badly at that. The failures(some real, some self-inflicted) in the last one year took their toll on me and I lost all hope. I had, to put it simply, accepted defeat and started being whatever I never was. I just whiled away my time doing nothing in particular.

I had my few friends, but nothing anybody said seemed to make an impact for long! My friends, the ones who still stuck by me, were themselves at wits end to see me depressed, irritated, frustrated and lost. I pretty much gave up everything I liked doing..had a passion for.. unless and until I had to do it for certain. I gave up blogging, writing my own book, meeting up with friends, roaming around, irritating people just for the heck of it... I lost track and all this just in 15 days after my exams ended. And this is when Akanksha happened again. For those who don't know its an NGO where I used to volunteer during my third year before taking a break during my final year. I returned to the NGO as my mom and Shashank, one of my best friends, pestered me into going back. I went back to the same school where I volunteered earlier. I went with a sense of foreboding. But I need not have worried, the kids welcomed me back with gusto. Pretty soon I became involved in teaching them and had something to keep my mind occupied, but sometimes things don't change that easily and that's what happened in my case.

I never knew what the world perceived me as and most times it never bothered me. I was always the kind who just did just his work and left, not waiting for praises, brickbats or criticisms. I am my own worst critic, I usually get my flaws and mistakes before others do. I take my time doing stuff, but do it well. But some months ago I got an idea of what people in general, the ones who knew me as just another person, thought of me. How? Well lets leave that for later. Lets get on with the opinion thing for now. Intimidating, irritating, nerdish among other things. But one friend came up with this gem of a description. That I was weird. Any other adjective along with weird is enough to describe me... and that too completely. Suddenly everyone seemed to agree with this description and it made some sense to me too.. Except that I wasn't as weird as people perceived me to be! To be truthful I was not weird, I just did things which people normally wanted to do, but failed to do for whatever reasons, I was realistic but had my own ideal world that I pursued at all times. To put it shortly I was a mirror. Of what people wanted to do but never did, what they wanted to be, but never tried, of what they thought secretly, but never expressed.
I enjoyed being weird and different at times, but most times I could do without it.Maybe its the effect of being scrutinised for everything I do, but I moved from being normal to being weird when people just drew out their knives for anything and everything I did. To be fair to them, I sought out the spotlight myself when I needed people to work for the college fest and hence I should have been prepared for it myself. But then even I am human, whether people agree or not, and I failed in doing that. I was in depression already and when you are fighting a losing battle it all seems too much to handle. I rarely made new friends and i went out of touch with some more, never explaining why, hardly looking back. I was not myself and I just let it be. I drew a barrier around me not allowing most people to breakthrough. There were very few people I could trust and relate to. And even with them I was distant at times, driving them nuts. I wanted to be left alone, just doing my own thing, but then that wasn't possible given the way I was. And here comes the realization I was talking about.

I am a sucker for crisis as long as I can handle them and solve the problem. Such situations bring out the best in me. But unknown to me was the impact I had on people and their way of doing things. As I told earlier, I never bothered with what others thought, so I remained gladly unaware of it. That is till recently when I finally woke up to reality. At Akanksha or in conversations with my friends I suddenly realized how much my opinions and thoughts mattered to them. I met Sandhya, an Orkut friend, after 2 years of chatting online. It was great to meet her, but she beat me to it, by posting a blog about meeting me and tweeting about it too. I was pleasantly surprised. Was this how I made people feel? One of my old friends[old coz we are not on talking terms now ;)] Jania said this very thing. That I made people feel special even if they were not actually. I dunno how but I actually loved doing this, but somewhere over the last one year I seemed to have lost it. A phone call, a message, a scrap from me....it was all that it took to perk up people and I still can't get how. Maybe I do, but since I am trying to be modest... Shashank said the same thing, that I am very lucky to have people like these as my friends(he made a point of not including himself in that but he was just being modest again..yep we are all the same). The kids at Akanksha, though they love troubling me, seem to miss me if I don't go there for a day or two. I have had essays being written about me as some one's BEST FRIEND and Teacher. huh!! so much for impact... so much for realizations!

Does this mean I cant step out of my world and be back to normal? I guess the answer is yes and no. I do realize that I have got good friends around me. And maybe that is what makes me special and different and weird. Everytime I feel low I have to go back and remember those incidents wherein I brought about a change. Maybe go back and live these memories again so that I can help myself for a change. I dont know what the future holds but they said you design your own future, lets see.... The biggest example of a change in me can be established by the fact that is blog took me 3 hours to write against the standard time of 30 minutes. So I guess you can understand it.... Lets see if I can continue in this vein!! Bye for now

PS: Thanks to three people for helping me write this blog.
1. Shashank: He gave me my last realization and so I was inspired enough to write it.
2. Sandhya: I read her blog and wanted to write my own at the very instant.
3. Bhavana: She read my first blog and asked me to start blogging again.

Americanised Ramayan

2009-06-01T12:19:00.001+05:30

A young second generation Indian in the US was asked by his mother to
explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother, this is
how he went about it...

" So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked
him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and
she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to
some national forest or something... Since he was going, for like,
something like more than 10 years or so... he decided to get his wife
and his bro along... you know...so that they could all chill out
together. But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary shit... really
man...they had monkeys and devil s and shit like that. But this dude,
Ram, kicked with darts and bows and arrows... so it was fine.

But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his
babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and
also his bro, Laxman, pissed... all the gods were with him... So
anyways, you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of
monkeys... Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys...
just go along with me, ok...

So, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his own
hood... Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest... and
anyways... it gets kinda boring, you know... no TV or malls or shit
like that. So,they decided to hitch a ride back home... and when the
people realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home...
they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice...
and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days... so they
couldn't take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke
and shit... and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps
also...so it was pretty cooool... you know with all those
fireworks.... Really, they even had some local band play along with
the fireworks... and you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no
kidding.., thatwas the very first music-synchronized fireworks... you
know, like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you
know. And, so dude,
that was how, like, this festival started."

The mother fainted..

The Guys' Rules

2009-03-25T21:43:00.000+05:30

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear ' the rules '
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1'
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect
us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh

Are you a carrot?... egg?... or coffee?....

2009-03-06T21:12:00.000+05:30

Carrot, Egg and Coffee... (You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again).

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see.” ‘’Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and relenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

It's easier to build a child than repair an adult. This is so true - may we all be COFFEE

Excellent...........................Pls read

2008-11-21T20:42:00.000+05:30

Study this small story, Hope that makes a BIG change in YOU

Professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He
held it up for all to see & asked the

students

"How much do you think this glass weighs?"

'50gms!' ..... '100gms!' .....'125gms' ...the students answered.

.

"I really don't know unless I weigh it," said the professor, "but, my
question is:

What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?"

'Nothing' ..the students said.

'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor
asked.

'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the student

"You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?"

"Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis &
have to go to hospital for sure!"

ventured another student & all the students laughed

"Very good.

But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?"

asked the professor.

'No' Was the answer.

"Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?"

The students were puzzled.

"What should I do now to come out of pain?" asked professor again.

"Put the glass down!" said one of the students

"Exactly!" said the professor.

Life's problems are something like this.

Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK.

Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache.

Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do
anything.

It's important to think of the challenges or problems in your life,

But EVEN MORE IMPORTANT is to 'PUT THEM DOWN' at the end of every day before
You go to

sleep..

That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh &strong & can
handle any issue, any challenge

that comes your way!

So, when you leave office today,

Remember friend to

'PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY! '

Change in Life

2008-08-11T21:41:00.000+05:30

One day, when I was a freshman in high school,
I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.
His name was Kyle.
It looked like he was carrying all of his
books.
I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?
He must really be a nerd."
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a footballgame with my
friends tomorrow afternoon), so Ishrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running towardhim.
They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping
him so he landed in the dirt.
His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten
feet from him
He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes
My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him andas he crawled
around looking for his glasses, and I sawa tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. "
They really should get lives.
" He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!"
There was a big smile on his face.
It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.
As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never
seen him before.
He said he had gone to private school before now.
I would have never hung out with a private school kidbefore
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.
I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends
He said yes.
We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I
liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with thehuge stack of books again.
I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious
muscles with this pile of books everyday!
" He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends
When we were seniors, we began to think
about college.
Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I
was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem.
He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a
football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class.
I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation.
I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there andspeak
Graduation day, I saw Kyle.
He looked great.
He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.
He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.
He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.
Boy, sometimes I was jealous.
!
Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech.
So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!"
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.
" Thanks," he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, andbegan
"Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through
those tough years.
Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly
your friends...
I am here to tell all of you that being a
friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.
I am going to tell you a story."
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the
first day we met.
He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.
He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't
have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.
"Thankfully, I was saved.
My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy
told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.
Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions.
With one small gesture you can change a person's life.
For better or for worse.
God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.
"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have
trouble remembering how to fly."

2008-07-24T21:04:00.000+05:30

l argument but a long one :-

A good read - a long one though. But not long enough to discard.

FOR THE BENEFIT OF THOSE WHO HAD NOT READ THIS SPLENDID CONVERSATION
EARLIER.

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem
science has with God, The Almighty.

He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof: So you believe in God?

Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof: Is God good?

Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?

Student: Yes.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal
him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God
didn\'t. How is this God good then? Hmm?

(Student is silent.)

Prof: You can\'t answer, can you? Let\'s start again, young fella. Is God
good?

Student: Yes.

Prof: Is Satan good?

Student: No.

Prof: Where does Satan come from?

Student: From...God...

Prof: That\'s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student: Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn\'t it? And God did make everything.
Correct?

Student: Yes.

Prof: So who created evil?

(Student does not answer.)

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these
terrible things exist in the world, don\'t they?

Student: Yes, sir.

Prof: So, who created them?

(Student has no answer.)

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe
the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever

seen God?

Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?

Student: No, sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your

God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?

Student: No, sir. I\'m afraid I haven\'t.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science
says your GOD doesn\'t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Prof: Yes.

Student: And is there such a thing as cold?

Prof: Yes.

Student: No sir. There isn\'t.

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even

more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat.
But we don\'t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below
zero which is no heat, but we can\'t go any further after that. There is
no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the
absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the
opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as
darkness?

Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn\'t darkness?

Student : You\'re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of
something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing
light....But if
you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it\'s called darkness,
isn\'t it? In reality, darkness isn\'t. If it were you would be able to
make
darkness darker, wouldn\'t you?

Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue
there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are
viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can
measure. Sir, science can\'t even explain a thought. It uses electricity
and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either
one.To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact
that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the
opposite of life: just the absence of it.

Now tell me, Professor.Do you teach your students that they evolved from
a monkey?

Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of
course, I do.

Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where
the argument is going.)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at
work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor,
are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a
preacher? (The class is in uproar.)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor\'s
brain?

(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor\'s brain,
felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So,
according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable
protocol, science says that you have no brain,sir.

With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face
unfathomable.)

Prof: I guess you\'ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student: That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH. That is
all that keeps things moving & alive.

NB: I believe you have enjoyed the conversation...and if so...you\'ll
probably want your friends/colleagues to enjoy the same...won\'t you?....
this is a true story, and the student was none other than.........APJ
Abdul Kalam, the present president of India.

Have a nice day

Posted by Bharatspeak at 12:29 AM

Just read this- dont look for the title coz I have'nt got one...

2008-07-23T14:41:00.000+05:30

There is a kid who is going home from school one day, on the way he meets a puppy dog.The dog gets fond of the boy for no reason n follows him. The boy is also fond of dogs and so starts playing with it. The two spend sometime together. They have a good time playing with each other and running around. Then the boy gets up n resumes his journey towards his home. The dog follows the boy, initially the boy doesn't mind thinking the dog go away on its own once it knows that he wasn't interested anymore. But then as time goes on, the boy starts thinking again,"Why is the dog following me for no reason?" The dog seems to be very much fond of the boy now n barks lovingly now. After sometime, afraid of the dog's intentions, the boy tries to shoo the dog away. The dog doesn't go away. The boy tries running fast, the dog follows joyfully. The boy throws a stick to confuse the dog, but no use. He tries giving it some food, again no use, tries shouting and shooing it away again, but to no avail. The dog simply loves the boy, the boy is afraid now more than ever. He starts pelting stones at the dog, the dog still doesn't leave. Finally out of frustration the boy starts kicking the dog... he kicks it..and kicks it... till the dog dies......After sometime, the boy kneels down besides the dog and looks at its face. Surprisingly the dog's face is contorted with happiness... and then the boy starts crying...crying bitterly. The boy picks up the dog....goes to a nearby graveyard and digs a grave for the dog and then erects a tablet for the dog... The tablet reads," My Most Loyal Dog". Why this change of heart? Cause at that moment that the boy realises he had mistaken the dog's love,care,honesty and loyalty for something else.... and realises that the dog gladly took death, simply coz it came from a person which it liked......
What does this have to do with any of us? Feeling bad about the story? Confused? Irritated with me for telling such a story? Feel that the story has no moral or point. Well it does, coz we r the boy....we are the dog... We turn into one of those in many of our relationships...without ever knowing it....The relationships which ended sourly, which ended in fights. The relationships which seemed to start off fine and which then turned into a nightmare. The relationships where promises were made but were'nt kept.... I could just go on..but guess u got the point....So introspect today. Where do you stand in any of your relationships? Analyse if you are being made to be the dog... or if you are being the insensible boy, who could'nt understand and value true affection and caring. Either ways you are making a mistake and the relationship will not go much further. Realise this. If this article made any difference to you and your perspective about relationships, then I've a humble request to you.... just pass on this message to people you and care for. Ask them to read this and realise this fact too. Thank you. Your feedback is welcome anytime.